The fountain of wisdom
If Wittgenstein could enjoy Westerns, then what's wrong with:
Jack Vance?
J.R.R. Tolkien?
Terry Pratchett?
Here are some of my favourite words of wisdom.
Please note that these require audio support on your computer. If you see a security warning, choose "Open" to play the sound. Depending on your browser configuration, you may need to press the "Back" button to return to the current page after playing the quote.
On the nature of individuality (46 KB)
On the nature of uncertainty (110 KB)
On liberation (96 KB)
On existential insecurity (19 KB)
On life (103 KB)
On my own life (22 KB)
Goodbye (9 KB)
For more nonsense, try the following links:
http://www.coolquiz.com
http://www.thefunnypage.com
http://www.venganza.org
http://www.stupidedia.org
But if youre looking for true wisdom, try some of my academic friends instead:
John Barry
Ingolfur Blühdorn
Avner De-Shalit
Andrew Dobson
Marius de Geus
Simon Hailwood
Martin van Hees
Rasmus Karlsson
Gökhan Orhan
Masashi Sekiguchi
Albert Weale
For those of us who have been feeling less than stellar in the brain department, take heart from the following inspiring words of wisdom.
— Posted on the Internet
"Whenever I watch TV and see those poor starving kids all over the world, I can't help but cry. I mean I'd love to be skinny like that, but not with all those flies and death and stuff."
— Mariah Carey
"Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two, but can't remember what they are."
— Matt Lauer on NBC's Today show, August 22
"I haven't committed a crime. What I did was fail to comply with the law."
— David Dinkins, New York City Mayor, answering accusations that he failed to pay his taxes.
"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
— Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal anti-smoking campaign
"Outside of the killings, Washington has one of the lowest crime rates in the country."
— Mayor Marion Barry, Washington, DC
"I'm not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president."
— Hillary Clinton, commenting on the release of subpoenaed documents
"China is a big country, inhabited by many Chinese."
— Former French President Charles De Gaulle
"I don't feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves."
— John Wayne
"It isn't pollution that's harming the environment. It's the impurities in our air and water that are doing it"
— Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
"Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public mind."
— General William Westmoreland
"If you let that sort of thing go on, your bread and butter will be cut right out from under your feet."
— Former British foreign minister Ernest Bevin
"I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix."
— Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle
"The private enterprise system indicates that some people have higher incomes than others."
— Gerry Brown
"It's no exaggeration to say that the undecideds could go one way or another."
— George Bush, U.S. President
"I have opinions of my own — strong opinions — but I don't always agree with them."
— George Bush, U.S. President
"We've got to pause and ask ourselves: How much clean air do we need?"
— Lee Iacocca
"I was under medication when I made the decision to burn the tapes."
— Richard Nixon, U.S. President
"I was provided with additional input that was radically different from the truth. I assisted in furthering that version."
— Colonel Oliver North, from his Iran-Contra testimony
"Hawaii is a unique state. It is a small state. It is a state that is by itself. It is different from the other 49 states. Well, all states are different, but it's got a particularly unique situation."
— Dan Quayle, US VP
"We are not without accomplishment. We have managed to distribute poverty equally."
— Nguyen Co Thatch, Vietnamese foreign minister
"Fiction writing is great. You can make up almost anything."
— Ivana Trump, upon finishing her first novel
"I've read about foreign policy and studied - I know the number of continents."
— George Wallace, 1968 presidential campaign
"If we don't succeed, we run the risk of failure."
— Dan Quayle
"We are ready for an unforeseen event that may or may not occur."
— Dan Quayle
"The loss of life will be irreplaceable."
— Dan Quayle
"We apologize for the error in last week's paper in which we stated that Mr. Arnold Dogbody was a defective in the police force. We meant, of course, that Mr. Dogbody is a detective in the police farce."
— Correction Notice in the Ely Standard, a British newspaper
"Caution: Cape does not enable user to fly."
— Batman Costume warning label